Dating Isn’t Online Shopping

Dating like Netflix?

A college student once confessed to his strange dating habit.

He said one night he matched with someone who seemed great. They had a good conversation. Similar interests. Easy to talk to.

But while they were texting, he kept swiping…just to see what else was out there. A few minutes later he thought, “Maybe there’s someone even better.” So he stopped responding.

A few days later he matched with someone else who also seemed interesting. But again, he kept swiping. And again he thought, “Maybe someone better will show up.”

Eventually he realized something strange had happened. He wasn’t really dating anyone. He was just "browsing people."

He joked, “I was treating dating apps like Netflix. I spent 45 minutes scrolling and then didn’t actually watch anything.”

A lot of people quietly live in that same cycle. Endless options. Endless comparisons.

Very little commitment.

Swiping, Scrolling, and the Search for Something Real

If you’ve ever used a dating app, you know the feeling.

Swipe left.
Swipe right.
Maybe.
Not sure.
Next.

Within minutes you can scroll through dozens of faces, bios, and photos. You see people hiking, people holding dogs that may or may not be theirs, and at least one guy holding a fish for reasons no one fully understands.

The technology is impressive. But the mindset it creates can quietly shape how we see relationships. Dating starts to feel like shopping. You begin comparing people like products. Is this the best option? Maybe there’s someone better. What if I’m settling?

And suddenly relationships start to feel less like building something meaningful and more like browsing a digital catalog.

But covenant love works very differently.

Culture Says “Keep Your Options Open”

The world often tells us the best way to date is to always keep your options open. Never commit too quickly. Never get too invested. Always keep looking. The logic sounds reasonable.

Why choose one person if a better match might be around the corner? But this mindset creates something subtle and exhausting: perpetual uncertainty. When relationships are treated like temporary auditions, no one fully shows up. Hearts stay guarded. People remain replaceable. Conversations stay shallow.

And eventually everyone starts wondering the same uncomfortable question: "Am I just another option too?" The Bible encourages a very different mindset when it comes to relationships and commitment. “Let love be genuine.” — Romans 12:9

Genuine love can’t grow in an environment where people are constantly preparing their exit strategy. Real love requires presence and investment.

Covenant Love Thinks Differently

Covenant love doesn’t begin by asking: "Is this person perfect?" Instead it asks: "Is this someone I can build a life with?"

Covenant is about commitment over comparison. It recognizes something culture often forgets: every relationship involves two imperfect people learning how to grow together.

You won’t find perfection. You will find quirks. Habits. Differences. Occasionally someone who loads the dishwasher in a way that makes absolutely no sense. But you can find character.

Scripture reminds us that strong relationships are built on deeper foundations than surface-level compatibility. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8

Love isn’t sustained by perfection. It’s sustained by grace, patience, and commitment.

Chemistry Matters — But Character Matters More

Attraction and compatibility matter. They’re often what bring people together in the first place. But they don’t sustain a relationship long-term. Character does.

Pay attention to things like:

• How they handle conflict

• How they treat people who can’t benefit them

• Whether they take responsibility when they’re wrong

• Whether their faith actually shapes their daily decisions

Anyone can be charming for a few dates. But character shows up when things are inconvenient, stressful, or difficult. Proverbs highlights how valuable character really is: “A good name is more desirable than great riches.” — Proverbs 22:1

In other words, integrity and reputation matter more than surface-level appeal. Someone can have great chemistry with you and still lack the maturity needed for a healthy relationship. Character is what makes love durable.

A Different Way to Date

Dating with covenant in mind doesn’t mean rushing into commitment. It means approaching relationships with intentionality instead of endless comparison. Instead of constantly asking: "Could someone better come along?"Try asking better questions. Does this person pursue God? Do they show humility and kindness? Are we growing in faith together?

Scripture encourages believers to think deeply about the kind of people they walk closely with. “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” — Amos 3:3

Shared direction matters. If two people are heading toward different values, priorities, and goals, the relationship will eventually feel strained. But when two people are pursuing God together, something powerful happens: growth becomes shared.

You’re Not a Product Either

There’s another quiet consequence of swipe culture. When dating becomes shopping, everyone becomes a product. Profiles become marketing. Photos become branding. Conversations become auditions.

You start wondering: Did I choose the right pictures? Should I sound funnier? Should I look cooler? Suddenly dating feels less like being known and more like trying to pass a popularity contest. But here’s something worth remembering: You are not a product.

You are a person created with purpose and value. Scripture reminds us where our worth actually comes from: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” — Psalm 139:14

Your value isn’t determined by how many matches you get. And the right relationship won’t treat you like something to evaluate and discard. The right person will see you as someone worth knowing, understanding, and growing alongside.

Covenant Is Not Limiting — It’s Liberating

Ironically, commitment often brings more peace than endless options. When two people intentionally choose each other, something beautiful happens. Security grows.

Instead of constantly wondering if someone better will appear, you begin investing deeply in the relationship you actually have. That’s where real love grows. Not in comparison. Not in endless searching. But in commitment.

Ecclesiastes captures the strength of committed relationships beautifully: “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Strong relationships aren’t built through constant evaluation. They’re built through partnership. Through showing up. Through choosing each other again and again.

And that’s something swipe culture can never fully replace. Because real love isn’t found by endlessly browsing. It’s built through intentional commitment.